Finally Taken

Don't look my way...

Your glares are unnecessary

Committed & Cuffed, over here

Yes you heard right, I'm taken

Your desperation reminds me of myself

Back when I was thirsty

Chasing and on the prowl

I know that smell all to well

An odor so thick and suffocating

Let me breathe easy

I'm finally in that space

Comfortable.

Let me be

Comfortable with my constant friend.

Before this friendship was a nuisance.

Nothing would be more frustrating

Then forcibly being pushed into your embrace

Now your presence overwhelms me and your embrace put me at ease

Now I'm falling head over feet with you

I'm taken by you

My heart races, no one else compares

Alone we sit in my room with no one to bother us

No one gets you better than me

I don't want to quote Nicki, but it's like you see Right Thru Me

To sit and just vibe with you

Your aura mesmerizes me

I don't need anyone but you

You know my every move before I make it

Whisper sweet nothings in my ear

Lay your head on my pillow

Rest your hairy legs under my covers

To be still with you, loneliness

Uninterrupted

Your name is a lone one

Become one with me

Elated, happy to be with you and only you

Finally Taken

Coverboy

Cover boy, what are you concealing?

Cake on that foundation and concealer

What lies beyond that facade?

Ignore me, if you choose

They say Never judge a book by a cover

Stop it!

Lies, I should have taken you at face value

What was my rejection worth?

Were you paid in ego?

Spend your compensation wisely

Oh beloved cover boy, you possess no depth

Shasay away

You ain't on the September issue

Cover boy, you're so vain

I should have known you were out for blood by the color of your blazer

Were your mean girls conversing?

Those wolves looked thirsty

Ignore that if you choose

It's almost deep how you can be so shallow

I know you threw away my present

Ignore my presence

Hide behind those big brown eyes and your model frame

And I'll hide behind my fear to approach you

Cover boy I secretly want you, that's why I judge you

I just want to know those secrets

Your mystery makes me hate and love you

Until I see you again, the spolight remains on you

So dip honey dip

Duck walk across the floor

Hope you can handle the depth of these waters

710590136

Restored

Maybe I'm a masochist

Shamelessly drawn to the flame

Yes I have an affinity to tight warm spaces

Maybe I'm nasty

When will I stop thinking with the head in-between my legs

Sticky sheets, bruised egos and damaged goods surround me

I'll take the strings attached next time

Pull on my heart strings

I'm not dead. Hear it beat

Hopelessly drawn to you

Rescue me for carnal desires

In your arms I want to rest

Come quickly, don't delay

There is much work to be done

Till the soil, nurture this earthen dwelling

Sow your seeds in what was once considered dead

No longer soiled

What was once public is now solely yours

Drunken Truths

Why did I came out tonight? I'll be happy if I never see another twink

Flashing lights, surrounded by deceptions.

How can I be happy when I can't even look in the mirror?

Yes I don't feel good about myself

So have your party while I sit in my corner

Let the walls engulf me, let them squeeze me lifeless

You won't give a damn

Cornered by thoughts of self hate

Tired of this skin

Nope I can't be your mandingo

Stood up again

Is it cause I'm fat?

Sorry I don't have a six pack

I guess I'll continue to eat myself,

maybe then I'll feel something

Then I'll touch myself til I go numb

Numb. Mute. Empty

Hope you appreciate my honesty

The Poems Come

After midnight, while the kettle whistles

The poems come

Like a draft through an old window

They seep through gaps of space and time

In my mind

No rest for the weary, why can't I unwind

They come like shattered memories

Though battered, my senses still sense

The sweet fragrance of my mother's body on her favorite quilt

Gentle evening kisses in Randy's car- call it "puppy love" but I still ain't over that shit

His lips pressed against mine, my thoughts still give me goose-bumps

Love lost, love gained and love forgotten

But love don't forget me

Are you cold? Did you feel that air?

Someone shut the window

don't let the warmth escape, in exchange for the evil zephyr

You can feel it under covers

That chill tickling your big toe

Its funny how playful the devil is

That unrelenting feeling of "Why did I do that last night?"

Innocence - not stolen but freely given away

And now I'm freezing because I no longer have a blanket

Exposed and bare

Nowhere to find refuge

As I pour the steaming water over the dark spearmint tea bag

I pray that love will pour over me

Add warmth to what can sometimes be nothing but dried remnants of things past

Restoring the elements and perfuming the surrounding environment

Until that day, the poems come

Take Me Back To Happy

Standards, used to have them

Dreams, used to birth them

Excuses are all I create... so close to giving up

Frustrated with self, growing complacent

Why am I encased in flesh?

Take me back to happy

Let me experience joy again

How I want to savor the sweet fruit of bliss

The days when I took time to "zen" and pray

The days when I knew all the steps to the ritual

Take me back to happy

Sandcastles and macaroni

Take me back to self love

Affirmations and meditation

Feet please remember the steps

Mind don't forget the routine it's not to late

Cues

He enters stage right

Tall and walking with purpose

A style so sophisticated and a speech so sultry

And to mention a presence so bold

There is a fire in his belly

and desire in his eyes

All of this is noticeable in his stride

He waits center

I enter stage left and walks toward center stage where he waits for me

The dialogue begins

He looks directly at me

He takes my presence in, as if he I were his last

Consumed!

I can't follow the script, I'm lost in the mystery that is his essence

He is consumed, I am engulfed

As we stare at each other we are mirror images of passion

Playful smiles are exchanged, our noses touch and our lips lock

How I wish they would lock forever

A touch unlike no other

Is this lust or something more?

No time for thought, lights camera ACTION! The world is watching

Rendezvous

Darkness falls on Waverly Street

It sullied my mind

I should've been able to see the signs, when you couldn't look me in the eyes

Instead you look down at the sticky commercial tile, of the-hole-in-the-wall diner

I wondered what your eyes were gazing at I tried to follow

What happened to a arrogance and the pride, in front of me you seemed so shy, almost insecure

Pitiful Rendezvous

Shame... that's all I see when I look at your face, you never owned your walk

Don't act, like you know it all, your journey has just begun

B e o p e n

Wait, why am I debate with you and giving you advice?

I can't fix you

You're not ready for me and what I have to offer

I'm too brave for you! I wish you could be brave with me, oh well

You can take the train of conformity back home by yourself

Another Sorry Rendezvous

I'm done... my beloved will find me in due time

Je t'attends

Insecurity Causes An Unrestful Soul

Jacques Etienne

I'm tried of ppl's judgment. Everyone believes they know how I should live my life. Handle your scandal, I'll handle mine #aggy

about an hour ago via Twitter · · · ·@Kwame_Preston87 on Twitter


This past week I felt like I had to constantly prove my Christianity to others and I constantly felt judgement from friends with good intentions. Looking inside, I realized I was insecure and mad that everyone was pointing out my insecurity. I haven't been praying much and I haven't attended church in awhile. Then when I turned to others for advice, I felt they viewed me as a heathen instead of a child of God (which probably wasn't the case at all).

I need to work on achieving that personal relationship, my relationship with God doesn't depend on others opinions. God will not forsake me. Its funny because I felt Him so much this summer, right when my parents disowned me and He opened so many doors. He could've abandoned me because I was same gender loving, but he didn't. He could of let me self-destruct while I was defining who I was without outside influence, but he gave me that space. I need to trust and find security in Him and no one else.

God loves me regardless of my orientation and I have nothing to prove. I just need to work on our relationship. I need to call him more (prayer) and go on some dates (church). Yes, a relationship with God is like every other relationship, got to put in work!

Thank you God for revealing to me how much I need you!

My Own Voice, My Own Terms

They tell me: Be quiet! Shut up! Your opinions are obsolete

What you want is not concrete

I think: Pampered and primped! You constantly referred to me as a prince

Yea that's what I am

A prince with no voice

How I wanted to be a pauper rather, To run barefoot through the soft mud

But I couldn't pay the price of abdication.

Voiceless and needing to make a statement I broke my crown.

Filled with expectations I know I let you down

I am nothing but a court jester, a clown

Everyone laughs when the clown takes a tumble

A fall from grace, the family's disgrace!

I'm revealing too much I should be quiet and shut up, my opinions are obsolete

I don't trust my myself... what is concrete?

All I know, is that some should tell Ms. Angelou that this caged bird can't sing

His cries unheard

Silence is preferred

A small boy cries also

His screams go on deaf ears

Giggles are seldom heard

Is he mute?

Stripped of individuality, forced to be a shell

Taught and taunted

Taught to stick to the status quo

Taunted for being different

Like E-40 waiting for someone to tell him when to go

So a prince without a crown, a caged bird with no song and a child with no joy

I was all of these...

But now I have chosen to take my freedom

The winds of liberty flow through my lungs creating a sound so harmonious

A sound so bold, a sound that represents me! My own voice, I discovered it!

Finally I can tell them: I'm living on my own terms!

The Elements of Love

Earth, Wind, Fire, Water

Elements & Foundations

The substance in which all things are made of

To My Future Beloved:

How long will I wait to look into your eyes?

eyes that can see into my soul

How will you let me know my feelings are mutual?

That you feel weak in my presence, that same way I feel in yours

I can't help it that tears are running down my face.

Hungry for love, I just want a taste.

Thinking about you makes me salivate

I'm a monstrous beast but the thought of you makes me weep

Water dripping from my eyes

Rivers of longing, which lead to an ocean of loneliness

There is a fire inside, feed it with your romance!

I want a heat that will never subside

Let our chemicals react; combust!

To be caught in the frenzy, give me wind to fan the flames!

Please darling, prepare a fertile soil, so I may plant my seed of love

Imagine a field, no longer barren, but overflowing with the fruits of our labor of love

A place in which all the elements can work in harmony

4 corners, 4 elements

So yes, I'm a hopeless romantic, and when I say I'm not looking, I'm still looking

Looking for the possibility to have the ground shaken beneath me, to be swept up in the storm, to be set a flame and flooded with passion.

Earth, Wind, Fire, Water

Elements & Foundations

The substance in which all things are made of

Sincerely and Naturally,

A Son of Eros

Though The World Seems To Forget...

Who you are what you've done for us. Lord, How many times have I forgotten you? The mornings I didn't wake up exulting your praises. The nights I went to sleep with out thanking you for the breathe of life. Let me not be like the 9 nine lepers who left and never came back to give thanks (Luke 17:11-17).

We are all guilty of not giving thinks!

In I Thessalonians 5:16-18 scripture tells us that we should give thanks in all circumstances…

In a world that fails to praise the Lord, why not choose to shower the throne of mercy with praises instead of nothing at all.

Thinking about the times, that I have done things for others, it is custom, to hear the recipient of my act say "thank you." I don't do things for praise, but it feels good to hear another recognize your good will and action toward them. Why not show God the same courtesy?

What are you thankful for?

• Your spouse…
• Your job…
• Your kids…
• Your money…
• Your health…
• Your friends….
• Your church….
• Your house…

Letter to A Black Queer Boy

Dear Black Queer Boy,

No matter how many times you dye your hair blonde, you roots will cry out and scream the truth. "Recognize your beauty, son of Ghana, Mali and Songhai! If you don't know your history how will you fly." How I longed for your friendship and fellowship, I thought we would be like two kindred spirits. I was wrong.

Your colonized mentality is keeping you captive, liberate yourself my brother. I pray that you will learn to appreciate the peoples whose blood, sweat and tears established the legacy you reject.

With Love,

A Big Brother

I Call You Friend

I think people use the term friend to loosely, I’m so thankful that God has allowed me to come in contact with true friends: people I know I can call in all emergencies. This summer when I was kicked out my house, my friends Therese, Sophia, Tasha, Dania, Tanisha, Alix and Jared helped me get through one of the most difficult times in my life. They all helped me in different ways using their own special gifts and talents. I love you guys.

Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable? Proverbs 20:6

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You saved me when I was on the brink of self destruction

You saw me in all of my disfunction

Wiped the tears from my eyes, tickled me with your antics

Whenever I think of you I smile from ear to ear

With you by my side what do I have to fear

I call you friend

On days I can barely face myself in the mirror

Through your eyes I see my reflection

Through your eyes I see my strengths magnified

My weaknesses become sanctified

I call you friend

You remind me about what I can become

Your words are like sandpaper gently refining me, polishing me

Glimmering Dark Mahogany

Because of you everyone sees me for what I truly am

A child of God, a gentlemen, a kind soul

Thank you!

I call you friend

Goals for the Week of January 23rd-January 30th

1. Make time for God at the beginning of the day and at the end of the day

2. Make it to the Oratory on Wednesday

3. Exercise Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday

4. Start Volunteering at the Pride House

5. Work the kinks out for the BryN't performance

6. Finish Krik? Krak! and continue reading The Power

7. Get all my mail to come to The Summit

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Aisles

So Project Fitness bombed once again, my mind wasn't focused on losing weight to be honest. I was trying to accomplish other goals. I wanted a boyfriend. I was hungry for love. A steady diet of sweet kisses, warm embraces and lots of cuddling was what I wanted to consume.

As if I were shopping in grocery store, I scanned every aisle high and low for potential mates. I found several suitors. They were beautiful in there own ways. Appealing from head to toe, these gentlemen caused my mouth to water. Shopping for a boyfriend is a lot like shopping for groceries, there is so much to choose from. You can go home with Young and Dumb cereal bars, Oatmeal Raisin Asian cookies or Homo-Thug flavored Hot Cocoa. Unlike shopping for actual groceries though, you might not always get what you believe you are purchasing. No matter how many times you read the exterior or familiarize your self with the ingredients of your potential man you can always get bamboozled.

I was thinking about purchasing a nice sweet bun cake when I met Mr. iGot2muchSwagg. After buying into his lies, I soon discovered, nothing but arrogance. He never compromised and he was always right even though he was blatantly wrong. This supposed sweet bun cake left an especially sour taste in my mouth when he desired to see me only after midnight. “Do I look like a booty call to you?,” I thought to myself.

Then I moved on to the produce aisle and my eyes landed on basket of red, juicy cherries. I never saw cherries so flirtatious. The cherries were red like the hearts that EJ used to leave in his bbm statuses in reference to me. He called me an “angel” and said I left him speechless. In the pit of my stomach, I knew that EJ was to good to be true and just as I choked on the pit of such sensual fruit, the cherries where enticing someone else.

All in all, its time to stop shopping and looking around. Their are so many things within myself that I need to work on. Why do I want a boyfriend? What are my intentions? If I can’t answer those two questions, then frankly I should give up the search. To the gym, I return and in my right mind I hope to stay, its time to stop selling myself short.