Sunday, December 27, 2009

Bridges


Tormented by thoughts
Haunted by spirits
Possesion occurs on the regular
Where does one find peace, a haven to rest my weary head, to recharge the battery of my soul...

Certainly not in you.
You decimated my esteem
Clouded my outlook with your evil eye
You even spoke death
Your words made maggots crawl out of my skin
Your actions made me crumble with fear
Love don't live here no more, and I'm not sure if I live here either
You came in like a flood and your rising waters washed me out
I'm a shell of what I used to be
I don't even remember who I am
What will I become?

Somethings need to be burnt
So I will get the gasoline and my lighter and take care of business
And if the damn lighter don't work, you best believe I got matches in my back pocket
I hope you like gasoline, because I'm going to throw it all over you
From you base to your highest point...
You will burn
O yes, you will burn
Somethings can't be repaired, you have to start a new
So I'm burning bridges that lead to you
And blazing trails that lead to...

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Good Boy Gone Bad


We stay moving around on the low low
Ask me where I'm at, you won't know
And I won't care

All I know is I'm tired of playing by the rules
Why can't I break a few and not feel guilty ?
Why shouldn't I do some living ?

I want to be like Venture Smith but more defiant

I want to put on my leather jacket and timbs
Walk without a care and look at you make you hold your purse tightly
I want to be a terror for a day

I want to smoke some cigs and maybe burn some trees
I want to be "free"

I want to shut you out!
I want to keep a tight upper lip and not show weakness

I want to have a smart comment for every single one of your responses
I want to sleep with your girlfriend and break your daugther's heart
I'm a bad ass, face it

I want to shake this thing that they call a "conscience"
I want to be bad

Signed

Good Boy Gone Bad.


Friday, September 25, 2009

So I was on hiatus...

You have to live in order to write and I was doing some living. During my living, I feel in love with these two bands. This first one is called Metric.




The next band is called The Faint, looking for them on ITUNES.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

From Across the Pond...

This British band is the ish. I love their sound. It is retro, yet new. Hats off to Noisettes...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Videos I'm watching on YouTube


The first one makes me laugh...

I never knew Rebbie Jackson had a solo career

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7MidxMUcJg

The second one is from Anjulie, its a video for her song "Boom"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fCERn_1hgg

The third and final one is from Maxwell, who has impressed me so much, it feels so good to hear real authentic R&B

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsaSF6VgKTY


Sunday, August 9, 2009

Chaos of the Mundane


He rides the E train to escape, see and discover. He tries to escape the chaos of the mundane and enters into the silence of gaudy and the strident.

Every evening as he rushes down the long grand stairway at Jamaica Center, he is greated by the man at the bottom of the stairs giving out warnings of what peril awaits in the pits of hell. The rider quickly and like a ballet dancer swiftly escapes his grasps as he makes his way toward the MetroCard machine. The rider is then greeted by the hustler who tries relentlessly to get the rider's attention. "Come on mane, buy the card from me son, I have an AllDayPass for five dollars," he says. The rider continues to handle his transaction and never even makes eye contact. He then makes his way through the turnstyle and down the stairs and with every steps he takes he continues to feel the air become heavy. He never understood why it was so hot underground, maybe it was the heat of the trains. It reminded him of the heat in his mother's kitchen. The heat was unbearable and the kitchen always smelled heavy of ginger and cinnamon, but instead all he could smell was the polluted gas which seeped from the new eco friendly trains. He took his seat and waited for the train to fill and eventually depart. While awaiting the trains depart, he realized that he spent most of his life waiting patiently but longed to be the aggressor or the go-getter. Why couldn't he have the courage to stop being a "good boy ?" All he ever did was listen and follow instructions, he felt trapped.

The train finally departed and started down its path through the tight coiled tunnels of the vast subway system. The rider realized that his life was like a tight coiled tunnel, right now he was in a tight turn, he anticipated a smooth transition though. A transition to becoming his own man, no longer listening and following instructions but disregarding and leading. Disregarding thoughts that he was nothing with out his parents, that they were the only one who knew best. Ignoring voices that he had no future, that he was meant to be miserable. He declared himself leader, Commander-in-chief of his existence. After his journey, he would go home and divide and conquer and bring peace and solice to the chaos of the mundane. He wanted to make his home life liveable, the chaotic boredom was nauseating.

The rider continue to sit and gain strength for his mission. Between his courageous anticipations and the silence of the gaudy and strident, he felt recharged and ready.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Ode to Water


Pristine lucidity.
Complexity but yet great simplicity

No wonder the ancients worshiped you, daughter of Agwe, brother of Neptune
We are nourished with you in our mother's womb
We can't help but bleed you on a hot humid day

You give life but yet you take it away
But there is always hope on your horizon
You are constant friend

Chaotic yet calming
Swallow but deep

You are metaphor for life
Looking at you on the beach one can never predict your next move

Surfers always have something to prove
They try to ride your rugged and wild waves
But you don't surrender, well that a lie
You render power to the Moon in the night sky

Aphrodite emerged from you seas in shell
Saved from paganism by Jesus's brief submersion

Water

Refreshing life giving nectar, so sweet it cannot be detected



Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Tattoo your name across my heart...


So it will remain not even death could make us part.

Okay so that line isn't an original (thank you Bey). It did click though, when I was in Bronx at St. Crispin Friary and Fr. Augustino compared baptism as a spirtual tattoo. Once you have entered into the family of God, you are marked for life. There is a tattoo on your heart and indelible mark on your soul. And just like the lyric states so eloquently "not even death could make us part" because you will be entering into His Kingdom, were you too, are an heir.

I know this sounds so preachy and I have never been one to shout from the roof tops. I mean look at my blog I talk about everything from music, politics and fashion but I can't forget to mention Him. I know my readers come from all different faith backgrounds and I am extremely respectful. Yet I can't help to encourage you to make a little room for God, don't be afraid to write, talk or grow closer to this unfathomable being which has been in existence, wait a sec, created existence...the great I AM. Let it be known, we need to stand up as people of faith because there is a movement to eradicate anything remotely religious. In France its is illegal for Jewish boy to wear his yamika in his public school. We must defend our right to express our religious freedom.

But I digress, all I can say is that I am enjoying the joy of living a life a faith. Although it may be rocky and tumultuous, I have a joy and peace which isn't fleeting like so many other things in this world. All of this has occur because I have been branded by LOVE.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

John 15:13


You never stopped pushing...and there were times when I hated you (well hate is a strong word, maybe in that moment) for it.  I could always count on you to push...and then you stopped.  You began to come into your own and blossom like the little Texas bluebonnet you were.  With His showers of grace and truth, you grew in wisdom and grace to be a spectacle.  A creation giving witness to his creator.  When you had to do His will, I realized it was my turn to push to you.  I pushed you in prayer.  For all those moments when you "layed down your life" whether it was during our long conversations or our silly disputes...it was my turn.  My turn to push whether you liked it or not.  It was my duty and I prayed unceasingly for you and your dream.

We have a friendship so dynamic, so amazing and such a blessing.  Two young boys when we met on the sweet smelling plains of Indiana and now two men headed toward similar directions.  We will be saints together you and I, like Sts. Peter and Paul or Sts. Perpetua and Felicity, maybe its a stretch, well at least we can pray for it.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Kome Back Kid: Kelly Rowland


I admire this chick's tenacity.  People may call her B-list or constantly compair her that other much more famous girl in Destiny's Child, but Kelly Rowland keeps pushing.  Even though her album Ms. Kelly didn't do very well in the US, she is very big in the UK and France.  I also believe that now that she has split from Matthew Knowles, she can thrive with someone else's direction.  Today I was suprised when I heard French DJ David Guetta's new song featuring Kelly on Z100.  It is called "When Love Takes Over" and it is poppin'! I really enjoy the infectious beat and her voice sounds powerful and strong.  The Fashion Show on Bravo also helps simply because we are seeing her more and on her own.  Much success to you Kelly!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Victim


I was a victim. I was hurt by my father and countless other individuals. Last thing I thought about was hurting you. I knew I was playing with fire, but I thought I was going to be the only victim of my arsony. You got burned also. Now I am dealing with guilt so heavy, I can't even breathe. We acted like lovers and it was good acting but we only hurt each other. Yet my soul in some ways feels connected to you, because in our brief encounters you showed and gave me what I at that time considered to be love. I want to say I'm sorry. God taught me a lesson and brought me back to him, but the part of my chastisement that hurts the most is to think of you suffering and hating me. Please forgive me.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Crank 'er!!





Doesn't this prove that there is a thin line between dancehall dancing and rape...

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Caitlin Crosby...Ms. Raspy

I love a raspy voice! Last week I went to Catholic Underground and was introduced to Caitlin Crosby.  She is very hip and holy.  I love her message of self love and embracing our flaws.  The is the name of her new album, "Flawz." 

Praise His name with dancing! (Ps 149:3)

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Taking the Stage has taken my heart....

This show is on point.  The concept is seems simple,  follow five kids from a performing arts high school but where there are high school students there is drama.  Taking the Stage is full of drama, whether its is relationships, jealousy or the ups and downs of achieving a goal.  I feel everyone and anyone can relate.  It is good to see my peers doing something positive and achieving there dreams.   

Monday, April 20, 2009

Boyle Who!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVU4IkzMNIo

...nuff said

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I don't believe in astrology...


Flighty Pisces come into my net, take my bait
Scorpions don't even fish but I would sail all the seas of the galaxy to find just one of you
I'm a hunter and the stars say you are my soul mate
so hunt for you I will
I have encountered devious twins
Have been tackled by stubborn toros
I have also dealt with vain lioness but I crawl through this desert of a galaxy for you
Though asteriods may come and go
And Mars may go into retrograde, my love will never fade
There is no constellation more dymanic then mine...my love is fixed
A son of Pluto but never cold
Still looking for a Flighty Pisces to hold

Friday, April 17, 2009

Completion


Eastertide.  On the window is heard a knock, family doesn't ring the door bell, its not necessary.  Tatie Nenette opens the door and smiles.  She sees her grand nephew, her hope; the hope of her family.  Greetings and kisses are exchanged as the smell of chicken and beans linger in the air.  

Tatie Lunice approaches her grand nephew and places some sweets in his shirt pocket, as if he were 10.  "Its just for you, I don't want the others to see," she says in Kreyol.  The small room with plastic covered furniture and pink vomit colored carpet is filled with people.  His people.  Family who came from a small island nation, wretched but yet beautiful.  It was both the  worst of hell and splender of heaven.  This was also reflected in the people.  Even in his family he could see the best and the less than best.  Sometimes he even saw evil.  

He knew that Tatie Nenette didn't really like Tatie Lunice, but she had to take her in because that is what family does.  She had no really reason to dislike Tatie Lunice, but that didn't stop her emotions and feelings to create a reason.  They learned to live with each other, constantly reminding each other of their flaws.  

I don't think that is a Haitian thing only though, its more like a family thing.  Every oppurtunity we get pulling out that invisible mirror and showing those that we love their flaws.  "You're selfish." "Why are you so spoiled?" "You need to change."  "When will we learn to encourage our loved ones, " the grand nephew thought to himself.  His parents had broke him down so much he had lost his voice.  

He wanted to be like his ancestors and stand up and let out a war cry.   Let people around him know that he was very much present and had an opinion.  He wanted to dance to drums which heard beat inside of him.  He longed to channel his people.  He wanted to come full circle.  He craved to bring his people full circle.  All thest thoughts and more came to him as he sat on the plastic cover couch and watched his people interact.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Mrs. O...My Gosh


I tend to be a little bit conversative in my view point and may not agree with the Obama adminstration when it come to issues of life (abortion and stem cell research)... but I like them both so much.  I think that is an understatement.  The Obamas appearance and aura is so entracing.  They exude such confidence.  They are also very relatable.  I was very happy to see them strut their stuff on the world stage.   Especially Michelle...


Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Rambling...


1stofApril. April Fool. heartbreak. Glen Cove. 495. street. back ache. wronged. earthquake. well deserved. Monae. closed eyes. love song. rape. Solange Knowles. T.ON.Y overwhelmed. Leo. broken. anger. disgust. prideful. resent. hate. Gemini. obssesion. nineteen. STD. STI. HIV. death. Beckford. purgatory. honey bee. easter egg. love. no more. antivert. milligram. reincarnation, clinical. schizopernic. psycho. teenage witch. Tim Gunn. Heidi Klum. Lithium. suffocate. Midnight Bayou. twin. unrequited. magazine. Rochester. fear. Hell. God. gods. demons. doom. Shiva. sainthood. gone.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Sexy Betty on Hiatus

My favorite show is going on a 6 week hiatus.   This always happens hopefully Ugly Betty doesn't get cancelled like Joan of Arcadia (throw back). 

Betty's character is so dynamic and is constantly growing.  I am even starting to find her cute almost sexy in a quirky geeky way...lol  I also love Vanessa Williams as Wilhelmina Slater.  She always looks great in and out of her clothes.  She was on screen in lingerie and for 40 she was sizzling. 

Come back soon...Ugly Betty 




Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Rock Steady


I don't want to rock the boat, the current and wind are already not in our favor.  This is my maiden voyage and you've had some experience.  You comfort me and tell me to relax and with repose I gaze into your brown eyes and breathe easy.  We rock.  We rock into destiny.



Thursday, March 5, 2009

Soulmate...

"A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" Proverbs 18:24 

You deserve this title, you have been there constantly, listening, sharing, supporting.  I want to make this sound so poetic and eloquent.  But this is so raw, a raw emotion with same intensity as a fire cracker, so beautiful yet so powerful.  Every moment spent with you is explosive you see me for who I really am...I feel comfortable enough to remove the "veneer" that the rest of the world sees.  We laugh hard, we cry hard, we speak hard, we try hard...we hard.  Not "hard" in the sense of rough and tough or even "ghansta" or "hood" but just something definite.  Something that so far (Praise God), has been resilient against countless battles, shake downs, duels, jihads, broken hearts, crushed hopes and everything in between.  You are my friend, my cohort, my comrade, my chum, my buddy, my confidant and my companion.  I would even dare to say soul mate, because romantic love in its passion can sometimes ravage a friendship at it core.  But you and I don't have to worry about that we love each other purely and innocently, our souls touch.  That is why I give you this title...friend







Thursday, February 19, 2009

No Taxation on my music!


Dear Assemblyman Tom Alfano,

I wanted to join you in standing up and saying NO to Governor Paterson's music download tax.   The music industry is already suffering.  In the late 90s it was so easy for an artist to go 4x Platimun, but now its hard to go Platinum one time.  This is occuring because artist are not selling albums.  Artist are not selling albums, because most of my peers would rather dowland music from illegal websites.  The people of my generation do not buy music.  

I have recently opened an account with iTunes have started to download legally.  It feels good not to feel guilty for stealing music.  I feel like a doing something better for the music industry and the economy.  Now I am going to be punished with a tax for doing something right. 

I think we need to encourage legal downloading of music.  It will help the ailing music industry and probably benefit our economy.

Thank you for your time,
Jacques

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Come to the Water


Summer warmth filled the old dusty beat up Lincoln and the sunlight danced on the dashboard as the car bounced along the Southern State.  The car contained towels, bathings suits, flip flops, sunscreen, snacks and four fatigued souls looking for rest.  

Christiana was 23 years old, had beautiful tan skin and jet black hair.  She looked elegant with her dark rimmed glasses and tried to portray that elegance.  She cantored at her church but on Saturday night sang Van Halen with her cover band.  She was the driver of the beat up Lincoln, it was a gift from her grandfather.  Her eyes were focused on the road and she prayed that this trip would relieve her anxiety.  The uneasiness, the anger and the tension about her life and its directions never escaped her.  Christiana hoped that the sun and its mystical rays would cure her. 

James sat in the passanger seat and contemplated.  He was 20 years old and naive.  As he contemplated he began to rub sun tan lotion all over his brown skin.  His skin gave him a sense of pride and shame at the same time.  He was both Haitian and American. He also wore glasses but his lenses should have been rose tinted, because that is how he viewed the world.  He was confused and frustrated with his life.  He was confused about his calling, about what he should try to portray and not to mention his sexuality.  He never felt comfortable in his skin.  He was always trying to be some else.  He needed to make decisions, at least he thought.  He needed to choose.  He also was dealing with controlling parents at home who didn't know where he was at the moment.  James couldn't wait to be liberated and uninhibited in the water.

 Qui was in the back seat looking out the window and humming the tune on the radio.  She was 22 years old and Vietnamese American.  She too was burdened with pressures from her foreign parents.  She struggled with being American and Vietnamese at the same time.  She loved both her cultures but constantly saw conflict.  Should she dress more modestly or let it hang out like her American friends?  Should she be a good Vietnamese girl and stay home or should she sneak out to see her boyfriend, Chris.   She chose to be with her boyfriend Chris at the moment.  They had been through so much.  Heartbreak. Infidelity. Abortion. Abuse. She wanted to put that aside, just for today and focus on how thing use to be. Kisses. Huges. Long walks. Anime conventions.  She wanted to rekindle love at the water's edge.

Chris was angry inside.  He was almost sinister.  He even looked demonic with his jet black spikes and his black nail polish.  He hated Qui's honesty.  She wasn't afraid to talk about her ordeals and troubles and had told everyone in the car about the abortion.  He had also never gotten over the infidelity.  Even though he cheated also he could never comprehend why she would cheat.  He never let anyone know about his dissatisfaction.  He put up a veneer and smiled like everything was peachy keen.  He craved to be raw and brave like the waves of the ocean.  He was lusting to break free and finally be himself, even if his anger and rage might cause more destruction than a category 5 Hurricane

When they arrived at the beach and tasted the sea mist something about quenched there thirst.  The sun enlightened the dark corners of there souls, because all things done in the dark must come to light.  And it did, Chris looked at Qui and they embraced.  They still had problems and even more to face in the future, but they could enjoy the moment and remain in it.  Christiana left her anxiety and worries in her grandfather's beat up Lincoln and for those 4 hours embraced her inner child.  She became the little girl who was bright eyed and fearless before her uncle stripped her of her innocence.  James became uninhibited and ran into the ocean and baptized himself in her cool waters.  He began to live for himself. 

 The water, sand and salt had worked their magic.


All this beach talk in winter makes my wish it was summer...lol


Mary squared: Mary Mary

I love these two songstresses! They are so talented and are bring the Word to so many by song.  Their latest album The Sound is incredible.  I seldom listen to albums from beginning to end, but this CD is incredible.  This year they were nominated and won Best Gospel Performance, for Get Up (the first single of there album).  The music and lyrics are so uplifting.  It feel so good to feel like you can relate to every song.

Here is the video for their Grammy winning song:

 


Here is the video for the second single: I Worship You

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Dearest Receiver of My Unrequited Lust


I should have known better than to have open my mind to thoughts of you.  Thoughts of us, I knew it was to good to be true.  I knew that I wasn't your type or whatever.  You just strung me along to get what you wanted.  I was looking forward for our lust turning into mutual infatuation but it didn't.  I quickly became a nuissance.  All I wanted to do was get to know you, talk to you, pick your brain but you are only interested when you it will benefit you physically.  I am so happy I didn't let you receive my unrequited love....you wouldn't be worth it.  You can't handle my passion my intensity...

Well F*ck you,

J

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

untitled

Ladies and Gentlemen

I have been doing it on my own and for myself.  All I feel is emptiness.  I can be all things to all people, I said to myself.  Why did I lie to myself.  You are my love the one that I long for when I embrace them.  It is your comfort I seek in there arms.  


LIBERATE ME LOVE

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Father and Son Duet



Father forgive them for they know not what they do

My earthly father, my pappy how can I forgive you

For all the time lost, for all memories which will never be remembered

Our faces, our voices, our walks are the same yet our spirits which bring life to the superficial clash like an out of tune trumpet playing amongst the many

We can never make music because we are not on the same accord. Disharmony is what is heard.

You pluck your cord harder then mine...the vibrations of sound tower over

Who can bearly hear my precious note.

A note that has been sharp and vibrant but now is flat and melancholy.

I want us to make music. To hear the depth of your voice say "I love you son." It would reverb like a beautiful italian aria

That would surely pull my heart strings

Releasing an energy greater than a diva singing the last note of a power ballad

Even though you continue to leave me solo...I will always be there waiting to play a duet with you.

To play a duet with the man who from his seed I rose

And one day you will accept and we will make a fusion of sound so eloquent so unique...it will be unheard of

but for now...there is silence

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Ridiculous & Sublime

I am so excited there is a still-image film in the works about a religious community that I visited this summer.  It is called Ridiculous & Sublime. The friars in this film are from a community called the Little Brothers of St. Francis.  They are an interesting group of men to say the least. Check out the trailer:

Ridiculous and Sublime - trailer from Maureen Cotton on Vimeo.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

The Lady in the Emerald Dress


It was New Year's Eve and after almost losing my life twice, because of the icy roads and horrible driving conditions, it felt good to be home.  Before long the fears of the year ahead began to possess my mind.  Would things in my life change? Am I learning from my mistakes? Am I going to free myself of my addictions and vices?   I always wished that at midnight all my problems from the previous year would just vanish.  I wanted them to disappear like a small fragile flurry that dematerializes as it touches the pavement.  I knew that would never happen, but I still wished.  It seemed like it would be a typical New Year's Eve at my household.  An evening of boredom watching mindless TV and popping a bottle of champange with my parents, but this year we had company coming over.  Jean Rene was coming.  He was my paternal aunt's brother, but had no relation to my father.  He was a doctor.  He always impressed me.  He was so gentle and easy going, which was completely different from how older Haitian men acted. 

At 8:15 the bell rang twice in quick succesion and I went to answer it.  As soon I opened the door I saw Jean Rene's big smile.  He had to big bags in his hands and he handed me one.  We made small talk as we walked into the living room.  There was one thing that was weird though his usually date was not there.  Where was Elizabeth the plain but lovely lady from English-speaking Montreal?  Instead stood a lady at 6 feet with strong facial features and a very short hair cut, she was pratically bald.  She was in her late 50s.  She was very thin and under her cheap fur was a bright emerald dress.  Her earings and brooch twinkled as the light from the chandelier struck them.  There was something that just brought your attention to her.  I still don't know what it was.  She was not particularly pretty but certainly striking.  At first she seemed distant and high sidity, but she later made me eat my words, because she was quite warm and festive. 

When the clock struck 12:00 am, I made my usual wish and offered a prayer of thanksgiving  amidst the sounds of nose makers and drunk family.  At that same moment the lady in the emerald dress disappeared from the dining room into the living room where she kneeled near the Christmas tree and bowed her head.  Two minutes later she arose and gave everyone a hug and wished us a Happy New Year.  Then came time to make a toast and she volunteered herself to open the champagne bottles.  The first one she opened slowly and dainty.  Then she asked if we wanted to have a little fun with the next bottle as she shook it up.  My mom said, "Just a little" and took two steps back.  The lady with the emerald dress held the bottle in her hand and closed her eyes.  One of her leathery hands clenched the neck of the bottle tight as if she didn't want it to release what was held inside. She began to breathe heavy and then POP, the bottle was open.  The champagne missiled out and hit everyone in the room.  It seemed as if that was what she wanted.  If it was a blessing or curse we were all receiptants.  

I don't know what the New Year holds, but I cannot remain fearful.  I just have to grab the bottle by the neck, close my eyes and not worry about making a mess.  The New Year is unpredictable but if "shake it up" (by having good fun) and approach it with a joyful attitude it will surely be memorable and POP.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Gucci Pour Homme II


I love this cologne. While wearing it transports me to cool crisp woodland where the ground is damp, but yet still charming. The scent is so unique and soothing. It is not strong but yet people around you notice it. I highly recommend it.